"Getting Old is Hard, But the Alternative is Harder" or: "Why I am Making Myself Sick on Purpose"

Yom shlishi, 23 Adar II 5774.

Don't worry. This photo will make sense later.

Okay, I could have just called this post "Colonoscopy." But then you wouldn't have read it. And I need for at least one person in the neighborhood of 50 to change his or her mind about enduring this necessary degradation, because I have read some alarming statistics. So please forgive the "TMI" post. But our lives depend on it.

Apparently, many people avoid the test because it is distasteful, or because it feels like a violation. And because it's embarrassing.

Yup, that's right. They'd rather die than go through something that is admittedly nasty, but that might extend their time on Earth.

Making myself sick on purpose is much lower on my list of entertainments than, say, cleaning the mold out of every window in my apartment and scrubbing the bathtub after a football game. Nonetheless, I have spent the last two days taking medications to make myself sick-like-dog to -- ahem -- clean out my system prior to the dreaded procedure.

And folks who know me well know that -- despite the state of my apartment -- my sense of personal cleanliness and dignity are amusingly catlike.

The upshot -- heh-heh-heh... everything sounds like a bad pun to me lately, butt I digress. Oh, there I go again --

After I endure this, the doctor will either find something scary (Heaven forbid) and fix it early, when it's easy to fix; or he will give me a pass for Ten Years Without Worry. Either of those options sounds better to me than becoming a statistic.

SATURDAY, March 22, 2014 (HealthDay News) -- Colorectal cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death, but there are ways of reducing your risk.

"Colorectal cancer is largely preventable with early screening and detection," Dr. Anne Lin, assistant professor of general surgery for the University of California, Los Angeles, Health System and David Geffen School of Medicine, said in a UCLA news release.

And from the American Cancer Society:

"Too many people are still dying: 50,310 expected this year, along with 136,830 new cases." 

That's in America. Rates in Israel are also still too high; but the situation is improving.

Early stage diagnosis of the disease has nearly doubled (from 18% to 34%) over the past twenty years, as a result of the increase in compliance with the National Colorectal Cancer Screening Program, jointly initiated by the Israel Cancer Association and the Ministry of Health.

 Mortality rates have dropped by 17% in males and by 11.4% in females.

This statistic is from the Jewish population. The Cancer Society in Israel is still trying to increase involvement by the Arab population in the screening process, as well as in the Hareidi ("ultra-Orthodox") population. In a 2012 article in the Times of Israel regarding reaching out to the Hareidim, Dr. Shlomo Lewkowicz gave further details:

"Lewkowicz said that every day, 10 new cases of rectal or colon cancer are diagnosed in Israel, five of which can prove to be fatal; however, a simple colonoscopy can often detect the cancer before it reaches a life-threatening stage."

Read. Information and recommendations are readily available online. Then -- get over it, and get tested. If I can set aside the super-high readings on my personal Bleccch-O-Meter, so can you.

And for the next few days, please be very gentle with me. My catlike nature is a bit disgruntled. And this sour expression on my face has absolutely nothing to do with you!

A favorite photo of cats apparently lining up for their appointments.